Josh Petersen

Hi baby gorgeouses! Before digging into this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, an important update from the recently filmed Season 2 reunion: Mary did not show up. Whether she was busy picking out 47 new fonts for another Instagram apology or just didn’t want to answer honest questions about her church and racism (probably the latter,) she did not subject herself to what probably would have been a brutal reunion. As far as I know, this is not allowed by the Bravo gods, which likely means she won’t be coming back for the third season. We also got a first look at the reunion outfits, which are, let’s just say, interesting. Meredith in particular stands out for doubling down on feather-forward fashion statements, which has inspired Twitter to compare her to Sam Eagle, Rosita and Sulley. Someone tell Jen’s social media assistant to not like any of these tweets, or we won’t hear the end of it until Season 25.

Now to the actual episode. Maybe the healing ceremony Whitney dragged the group to actually made an impact, because the climax of this episode was the first fight in a while that felt more cathartic than chaotic. Yes, this group of friends is more dysfunctional than ever. But for us watching at home, there were clear stakes, some great lines and actual dramatic tension, unlike the pho luncheon, which quickly devolved into unsatisfying word vomit. Things are looking up as we approach this season’s final act.

From the moment the husbands took a break from talking about boobs to announce their Mother’s Day gift, the Housewives knew instinctively that a girls’ trip with all seven of them under the same roof would probably go spectacularly wrong. (The men are either scarily oblivious or the producers put bugs in their ears.) I, for one, am shocked that anybody would willingly board the same cursed party bus again after Vail. But board the party bus (conspicuously without Meredith and Mary) they did, and we begin where we left off last week—with Lisa and Jen coming thiiiiis close to a full-out physical brawl. After listening to Jen yell about Meredith and loyalty and whatever else, Lisa finally snaps, and soon both a producer and Whitney are physically pulling them apart as Lisa, unleashing her inner New Yorker, yells “wanna fucking go?” The exasperated producer corrals Jen to the other side of the bus who, after hurling a few more accusations, breaks down into sobs. Lisa, of all people, goes to comfort her, and for the rest of the trip, the others tiptoe gently and treat Jen like a toddler who just threw a tantrum, which is basically what happened. The same dynamic continues: Jen has all of the power because she is shameless enough to scare everyone into submission. The others may claim they are going easy because they have compassion for her situation, but I just think they are (understandably) terrified of setting her off.

After yet another grueling, possibly traumatizing car trip, they finally arrive at Red Rock Villa. While trying desperately to salvage this already tense vacation, the Housewives get a chance to show off their (mostly accidental) physical comedy chops. In just one afternoon, we’re blessed with footage of an already drunk Jen doing a fan kick alone in her bed, a slapstick routine with Jen and Jennie on a pool floatie and a very tense Heather screaming because she’s startled by the sound of Whitney’s hairspray. Somewhere between Whitney showing off her bikini body and Jen (playfully) throwing her wet hair extensions at Lisa, you might be fooled into thinking this trip could actually be a success.

That is until Meredith and Mary finally arrive. I have realized, for better and worse, that I am a Whitney on vacation. I like an itinerary, I don’t want to lay by the pool all day and I do not appreciate deviations. For my fellow Whitneys and I, it is a struggle to travel with Marys, who want a full day to unpack and are physically, spiritually and psychologically incapable of being rushed.

There is a key difference between Whitney and I: she uses her vacation time trying to inspire a spiritual awakening. (Remember when she nearly started a Civil War by surprising everyone with a trip to the hypnotherapist?) Whitney almost gives herself an ulcer trying to get everyone in the bus on time to meet Betina, a shaman, in time for sunset, and they eventually leave without Mary, who needs extra time to bitch about her closet space. To both Whitney’s and Betina’s credit, this whole experience seems much more healing than that Las Vegas hypnotist’s horror house. They hold gratitude bundles, do a labyrinth walk to release “whatever doesn’t serve them” and chant their names in a drum circle. Mary, meanwhile, shows up 34 minutes late with a bad attitude and refuses to participate. (This woman is in NO position to judge someone else’s spiritual practice, but Mary is not known for self-awareness.) On the ride home, some of the women are feeling the love, but Whitney’s good vibes are soured because the group was too late to do fire burning, a key part of the ceremony. 

Back at the house for dinner, Whitney uses her toast as an opportunity to call out Meredith and Mary’s tardiness, and then says now is the time to “put it all out on the line.” Uh-oh. Meredith is annoyed but apologies, Mary refuses to apologize, Jen calls Meredith fake for apologizing and the mess has officially begun. Meredith continues her tirade that everyone else should be better friends with Jen, which I simply never understand. Is it a master plan to rile up Jen? A way to passive aggressively poke Lisa? Or does she simply have a moral code I have no hope of untangling? Whitney then asks Meredith directly why she continues to be friends with Mary, who is the most offensive of the group, while holding a permanent grudge against Jen for calling Brooks a twink. It’s a necessary conversation, but it quickly turns into a round of pot and kettle as Meredith questions everybody else’s friendship with Jen. (Which isn’t entirely unwarranted either. Nobody is blameless here.)

It wouldn’t be an RHOSLC argument without some dramatic exits. Jen, who was already sloppy by the time Lisa finished her morning Big Gulp, drunkenly wanders into the kitchen, steals food from a tray and offers to help the cooks because, in her words, “these bitches are fake as fuck out there.” Meanwhile, Jennie has extremely valid gripes about Meredith “I Don’t Know If It’s Offensive” Marks’ waffling on if racist comments are actually racist. Now, it’s Meredith turn to storm away, which is her usual MO. Meredith may pass this off as emotional maturity, but this time, it sure looks like she’s just refusing to consider honest criticisms about her behavior. Everybody recruits Mary (notably, not Lisa) to retrieve Meredith.

Meredith’s return to the table gives Jen the opportunity she’s been waiting for. She calls out Jen for hiring a PI, but Meredith clarifies the PI wasn’t to dig up dirt on Jen; it was to investigate anonymous threats, which, it turned out, were most likely Jen. Considering that Jen literally just tried to physically attack a woman who is ostensibly her good friend, this all seems quite plausible. Somehow, Vaginagate is re-litigated for the umpteenth time, but I don’t even care because we finally get to enjoy Meredith on our screens again. Watching Meredith double down on her friendship with Mary has been a bummer, because she is the most fun when she has the moral high ground. Luckily, pretty much everyone has the moral high ground over Jen. Jen gets increasingly upset and asks Meredith if she had anything to do with the arrest—Heather should have never planted this seed in the first place—which Meredith denies because, again, this theory makes no sense. Jen is riled up, though, and Meredith finally makes a well-timed exit, wine glass in hand, as Jen sputters that she is a fraud. Perfectly, iconically, Meredith replies, “Who’s calling who a fraud? Love you baby!” and slams the door. Even after Jen drops an accusation that Meredith has “10 boyfriends,” Meredith has the last laugh. For now. 

Random observations:

• Let’s take a moment and express our gratitude to Shanae, the producer who restrained Jen from ripping Lisa’s hair out. We appreciate our brave essential workers! 
• After Jen throws a wet clump of hair extensions at Lisa, all she can do is reply “wow” repeatedly. What else is there to say?
• Heather realizes, far too late, that she needs to fly private for all future trips: “Whatever alliance Meredith and Mary are in, I would like to be a part of. I will chant whatever they want around the boiling cauldron. I just don’t want to ride on the sprinter van again.”

Catch up on Season 2 of RHOSLC with all of our episode recaps.

When Jeff Talbott was writing his new play The Messenger, he had contemporary issues in mind, from political polarization to media bias to gender dynamics. But even he never could have predicted just how relevant the play would be.  

Now a world premiere at Pioneer Theatre Company, The Messenger was previously seen at PTC as part of the company’s Play-By-Play series, which stages public readings of new, developing works. In fact, the play was the last thing on PTC’s stage before the pandemic upended live theater. For Talbott, this was an especially surreal moment, as The Messenger follows a small town that begins to unravel in the face of a rapidly spreading public health crisis. “The play and our current world are so intertwined in ways that I never anticipated or intended,” he says.

Talbott, working with director Wes Grantom, first found inspiration in Henrik Ibsen’s 1882 play An Enemy of the People. Though the final product still follows the basic outline of Ibsen’s work, Talbott decided to take his play in a new direction. “I sat down to start that process and pretty instantly abandoned just a straight adaptation of his work,” he says. Still, Talbott still aimed to replicate Ibsen’s mix of social commentary and engrossing interpersonal drama with his own interpretation. “He was so interested in exploring serious issues in an entertaining way,” Talbott says of Ibsen.

The Messenger follows Therese Stockman (Ora Jones), a respected doctor in a small Norwegian town. Her brother, Mayor Peter Stockman (Mark H. Dold,) is thrilled to open the town’s baths, a natural spa that will revitalize the economically depressed town. Therese, though, has made a troubling discovery—she believes that a recent string of unexplained illnesses can be linked to a problem with the baths. When she shares this news with Kristine Hovstad (Meredith Holzman), the editor of a local newspaper, a passionate debate explodes about the power of the press and everyday corruption. 

Though The Messenger addresses present-day concerns using contemporary language, Talbott maintained the source material’s 19th century setting. He also changed two of the central characters to be played by female actors. (“Presenting a play with a bunch of men on stage yelling at each other is not a useful use of theater currently,” he said.) This choice allows Talbott to depict the challenges faced by women in power, both in 1882 and 2022. Talbott was especially interested in exploring the interaction between journalists and the public. “I really wanted to focus on our relationship with the press when dealing with a crisis,” he said. The Messenger depicts what happens “when a group of people start picking and choosing not only what information they take in, but who they talk to about the information that they take in.” In an age of increased polarization and misinformation, the questions Talbott raises are especially timely. 

Though Talbott wrote the play before the COVID-19 pandemic, the subject matter carries an eerie relevance in 2022. “We happened to develop it in March [2020], when a health crisis was developing in this nation,” Talbott says. Though certain lines in the production may feel like direct commentary about the pandemic, Talbott insists that these moments were always a part of his work. “None of it has changed since last March. It all was there in the play before any of this hit.” In fact, he chose to play down the public health subject matter: “I don’t want audiences to be distracted by any trauma,” he said.

As the characters face debates that we’re still having 140 years later, Talbott intends for the audience to leave with more questions than answers. “What I really love is if the lights come up at the end of the play and I can see people turn to the person next to them and start talking about what just happened.”

The Messenger will be at Pioneer Theatre Company through Jan. 29. For tickets and more information, visit PTC’s website. Read more about Utah theater.

In the last episode of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, a pho luncheon that reunited all seven cast members at the International Peace Gardens was, unsurprisingly, as far from peaceful as you can imagine. There were so many left-of-field comments, talking over each other and petty arguments that the whole thing felt like a mix between 30 Rock’s “Queen of Jordan” and listening to five podcasts at 1.5x speed simultaneously. This week’s installment is slightly calmer (read: actually coherent), but there is one holdover from the past episode that still casts a major shadow. 

During the pho luncheon, Mary told Jennie she had “yellow tones” and referenced her “slanted eyes.” In the moment, Jennie seems too stunned to respond, but when the Housewives all gather again (for Whitney’s Wild Rose Beauty rebrand event,) Jennie tells Mary that she was hurt by the comments. Mary looks surprised, says, “I love slanted eyes” and asks if anyone else knew that was offensive. The others, especially Whitney and Lisa, back Jennie up. (Lisa reminds Mary of her other racist comment comparing Jen to “Mexican thugs,” which Mary flatout denies.) Meredith, however, waffles, saying she doesn’t know if the comment is offensive or not, making everyone else roll their eyes. Rudeness, conflict and generally out-of-pocket behavior is part of the Housewives gig, but it’s disheartening to watch Jennie be forced to defend herself against racist comments from a person who is, essentially, a coworker. It especially sucks that Jennie doesn’t have unanimous support from the other cast members, because Meredith has for some reason decided that because Jen is her sworn enemy nobody else can do anything wrong.  

Mary and Meredith’s strangely enduring friendship is the unexpected throughline of the episode. Because Mary will never pass up an opportunity to butcher the Italian language, the two meet at Veneto the day after the cursed pho luncheon. We’re less than a minute in before Mary whips out a bad—and racist!—impression of Jennie. Let’s once again pause to emphasize that Mary is awful, and not in the fun-to-watch way. Meredith cringes, says “no character please” and yet still trusts Mary with some hot gossip. After Mary somehow blames Lisa for her conflict with Jennie, she asks Meredith about her relationship with the Queen of Sundance. Meredith says that watching Lisa defend Jen was “triggering,” and she still doesn’t know why Lisa won’t fully take her side. The tension between Meredith and Lisa has been simmering all season, and Meredith explicitly says she doesn’t know where their friendship stands. 

The other Housewives have noticed just how tight Mary and Meredith have been lately. Heather—whose Beauty Lab is apparently doing so well that she can randomly buy her business partner a new Audi—goes to help Whitney prepare gift bags for her brand relaunch party. Whitney goes on and on about how stressed she is and how much work she has to do, and then immediately takes a wine break. Work ethic I can get behind! The two start with their favorite topic—Lisa being two-faced—before getting into juicer territory. Whitney tells Heather about Mary’s (alleged) threat to Lisa in Vail: “See what happens when you mess with my church? You wind up in jail.” Whitney and Heather then wonder aloud if Mary has anything to do with Jen’s indictment. The two quickly turn into this meme, connecting dots that may or may not actually make up a picture. They remember that Mary didn’t join the rest of the group on the party bus, just like Meredith…and that Meredith hired a PI to investigate Jen without telling anyone else…and that Jen said that Mary “fucked her grandfather,” which Rev. Cosby is likely still holding a grudge about. They speculate that Meredith could have tipped off federal authorities about Jen’s business practices and told Mary what she knew. That would mean that Lisa was kept in the dark and, as Heather puts it, left to “ride up with the scalawags.”  

Is there anything to these theories? Eeehhh. Jen was hardly subtle about, well, anything, and the indictment pointed to a larger network of scammers that I doubt Meredith knew anything about. Maybe Meredith and Mary planned together not to ride the party bus, but it’s just as likely that these are the two Housewives most picky about transportation. Maybe Mary’s comments mean that she sent Jesus after her longtime enemy, or maybe Mary just says whatever she wants without thinking it through. (Okay, we know that last part is true.) Maybe Meredith is dropping breadcrumbs about sharing damaging information to the FBI on purpose, but I suspect she is just a shrewd reality TV cast member angling for screen time. Sure, it’s possible there’s some sort of grand conspiracy going on. I just don’t think it’s the most likely, logical explanation. 

Still, Meredith and Mary’s undying loyalty to each other is raising eyebrows all the way to Whitney’s party. Unlike at her photo shoot, Whitney has both fully committed to the new brand name that she spent $300,000 on and actually displays some products, so things are looking up. Things go about as you would expect: there’s some questionable fashion choices on the red carpet (Meredith in particular tries to rock a Chanel X Big Bird suit), the Real Husbands laugh at some dumb sexist joke Seth makes and Mary calls the party “one of the worst events I’ve attended” after searching for a coat check. Jen shows up, and Meredith once again learns the hard way that she should ask who’s invited in the group chat. Jennie then gathers the girls for the aforementioned lesson on why racism is bad, which just makes me sad. She then makes a point of rejecting Mary’s (tackily re-gifted with a receipt still in the box) Louboutins and giving them to Jen. At this point she has fully hijacked Whitney’s big night, and I fully support it. Whitney suddenly remembers that she is supposed to be hosting this thing, but she does find time to tell that the group shouldn’t let Mary’s racism slide. In the confessional, she says, “I like my friends how I like my skin care: non-toxic and cruelty free.” Bitch, that’s a rebrand! For some reason, Meredith decides now is the time to tell everyone that they should show Jen more loyalty. Lisa asks if Meredith is directing these comments at her and then accuses Mary of lying about comments she made in Vail. One after the other, Mary and Meredith disengage and storm off.

Lisa, who has designated herself the peacemaker of the season, chases after Meredith (with Heather’s encouragement). Meredith says Lisa is yelling at and attacking her, refuses to have a conversation and Lisa is now genuinely pissed. She then, with only slightly more success, forces Mary to talk to her. Mary calls Lisa “two-faced,” continues to deny that she compared Jen to Mexican thugs (while making more questionable comments in the confessional about cartels) and Lisa, accurately, guesses that Mary is defensive because she knows she’s wrong. 

We—hopefully—have reached a crucial turning point in the season: the end of Lisa playing both sides. She’s tried to be friends with everyone (well, except Whitney) all season, but it always blows up in her face. Meredith is still hurt that Lisa and Jen are friends. Lisa has been coy about the damaging information she knew about Mary’s church, and now Mary (unwisely) is picking fights with Lisa. Are Meredith and Lisa truly on the outs? Will Lisa team up with Whitney, of all people, to directly confront the allegations against Faith Temple? We’ll find out next week, when, according to previews, the party bus returns and Jen’s apology tour blows up in dramatic fashion. 

Random observations:

• This episode, we get more moments of the Barlows at home, which involves Lisa scrubbing her toilet in a crop top and awkward footage of Jack prepping for prom as Lisa goes full Amy Poehler in Mean Girls.

• For her own sake, Jen probably shouldn’t be on this show at all, but for the past several weeks she has been doing her level best to look humble while maintaining her innocence. (We already know it won’t last.) This episode, she makes hygiene kits for the National American Tongan Society with her mom, who is cashing out her retirement to help pay for legal fees. 
• Friends of the show/speculated future cast members Angie and Sarajean are at Whitney’s party, but there’s too much other juicy drama for them to get any real screen time.

The party-bus ride to hell is in the rearview mirror. Whitney and Heather have taken their principled flight home (in coach!) Mary has been compelled to post an Instagram apology with hashtags including #apologyaccepted, #reels and #latinos. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City are officially home from their cursed girls’ trip in an episode that feels a bit like palate cleanse. After a constant barrage of explosive revelations, this episode pauses the revelations and tells us things we mostly already know. Lisa still hates Heather and Whitney! Karlyn is still cute! Mary’s house is still a Dadaist nightmare! In the middle of the shaky return-to-normal, though, is a front-row seat to the event we all knew would come: The Jen Shah One-Woman Show.

It starts with Lisa at home debriefing with John, or, as he’s horrifyingly known in Lisa’s phone, JB HUSBAND BOSS. Lisa is rattled from the fight that ended the trip, which only solidified her opinion that Whitney and Heather are out to get her. “Whitney, she’s not a pot stirrer. She’s like a little whisk. Little Whiskney,” and JB HUSBAND BOSS seems legitimately amused. (It’s no “Whitney and Heather, bad weather,” but I’ll take it.) After calling the cousins “weak fucking little sheep,” Lisa gets a text from an unknown number. JB HUSBAND BOSS is FORBIDDEN by Lisa from getting a drink from the kitchen, because the text is from Jen. JB HUSBAND BOSS thinks that Lisa should meet up with Jen for some reason, but Lisa is keeping her distance, because she still feels manipulated after sticking her neck out for Jen before the arrest.

Jen, then, reaches out to her other remaining ally: Heather. Heather immediately drops everything to get lunch with Jen, who is trying to spin the arrest as best as she can. “This is what I asked God to show me,” she says. “Who are my real friends?” Well, your prayers are answered I guess! Obviously, none of the Housewives, let alone Housewife recappers, have all of the evidence to definitely say whether Jen is guilty or innocent. However, the case clearly doesn’t look good for Jen, and some of her statements seem brazenly dishonest. At lunch with Heather, she’s sticking to her story about some mystery person calling from Sharrieff’s phone to say he had a medical emergency. Heather must know that this story is suspicious, but she doesn’t push further. Why? As she is wont to do, Heather compares the situation to her divorce. “All I wanted was for someone to show up, hold my hand, say they loved me and not ask me too many questions,” she says, which Jen is, of course, perfectly fine with. 

Both Jen’s conversation with Heather and a later one with Sharrieff show that she is experiencing real pain. Of course she is scared of not seeing her family. It’s painful to see her children, who Jen emphasizes are Black kids in a mostly white community, walk out of the house with their hands up with white police officers. But there is so much bullshit on display that even Bravo can’t help but build a case for federal prosecutors. Just as Jen tries to minimize her and Stuart’s relationship, the show flashes back to a clip of Jen feeding him a banana and saying, “while you make me money I feed you.” Heather may be sticking by Jen—and telling her directly what the others think about her—but Lisa is wise to steer clear.

Whitney’s been a lot of fun to watch this season, but now I’m worried that she has girlbossed too close to the sun. She has tried to dedicate screen time to her beauty business, which recently rebranded from Iris & Beau to Wild Rose Beauty, and this episode makes it clear that this company is no casual side hustle. Over Chipotle takeout, Whitney accuses Justin of viewing Iris & Beau I mean Wild Rose Beauty as just a hobby. Before you feel too bad for Whitney, though, Justin reminds her that he has invested hundreds of thousands into her newly rebranded business. Whitney has, by her own admission, not been all that careful with the family’s sweet, sweet MLM bread—now she has a $1 million line of credit, and Justin will have to cosign on the deposit if she can’t get a loan. (I don’t actually understand what this means, which is one of many reasons why I should not start my own skin care line.) Even more concerning: Whitney asks, “What did you make us for dinner daddy?” as Justin gets out the Chipotle. Between this and JB HUSBAND BOSS, I think the FBI needs to come back.

Giving us our weekly reminder that rich people have very different hobbies, Lisa and Meredith head to the stables for some horseback riding. As usual, Meredith is mostly there to turn a look, though, unlike Lisa, she can actually get her horse to move. They then drink tea (still in the stable…full of horse shit…relaxing) and catch up on the latest drama. Somehow, even though Jen is fighting for her life in federal court and Mary may be a literal cult leader, Lisa is mostly preoccupied with Whitney and Heather being rude to her. Meredith, reclaiming her role as group therapist, says the group has a “dynamic that is very problematic” and that no one person (even Jen!) is totally to blame. Lisa refuses to match Meredith’s measured tone. She says, “someone has to have my fucking back,” and Meredith, who seems tired of defending Lisa, is insulted by the insinuation that she doesn’t defend her. Lisa THEN says that Whitney and Heather’s lies are as bad as Jen’s which is, a) absolutely bananas and b) the exact wrong thing to say to Meredith, who has viewed Jen as Public Enemy #1 since Twinkgate. And just like that, Lisa has finished the next stop on her burning bridges tour. 

For the sake of everyone’s health, there is no major group outing this week, but Heather and Jennie do show up at Whitney’s $20,000 photo shoot for Iris & Beau I mean Wild Rose Beauty. Jennie quickly observes that this was not necessarily 20 grand well spent—none of the glamour shots include any product and a big chunk of the merch advertises the old company name. Come on Whitney! We have more important business to attend to than Whitney’s probably failing business, though. Jennie talks about her plan to bring everyone together, including Jen, to hash out their problems over Vietnamese food. This is a bad idea, but it will probably be funny. Heather talks about her lunch with Jen and says, “I hope and pray she’s innocent.” This is a bad idea that just makes me feel sorry for Heather. Then, Whitney drops the episode’s only true bombshell—she had a three-hour conversation with Cameron, who had a public falling out with Mary and her church. “If Lisa knew 1/10 of what I knew and if 1/10 of that was true, Mary is bigger and badder than we ever realized,” Whitney says. Oh no. Whitney wants to directly talk with Lisa about what she’s learn. This is actually a good idea—even Jennie thinks so. Yes, part of the reason I like this idea is because it will cause a stupidly entertaining fight that will end with eight confusing puns and a slam poem from Lisa. But even the non-evil part of my brain thinks this makes sense. Meredith may still want to hear Mary’s side, but most reasonable people already know what will happen if Whitney brings it up: Mary will deny it, scream out a sermon word salad, say something racist and then apologize months later in a Live Laugh Love font. Lisa, though, should directly confront the allegations against Mary as she tries to play both sides. Next week, everyone gets together—including Jen—and apparently the tension simmering underneath Meredith and Lisa’s friendship finally erupts. 

Random observations:

• Jen is upset that Lisa won’t talk to her because she “read something on the Internet.” That’s certainly one way to put it!
• The real loser of this episode: Whitney’s daughter Bobbi, who has to watch her parents fight AND doesn’t get to finish her Chipotle. Sad!
• In this episode, we meet the bravest woman in America. Her name is Alexia and she’s hired to organize Mary’s closet…and her bedroom which has become another closet since the real closet is impenetrable. She gently offers very good advice like “If you can’t see things that are behind or tucked away you’re probably not wearing it.” Her chance of success is almost zero, but I would watch a miniseries about her attempt.

Read more about The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.

This week on The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, the longest vacation in recorded history finally comes to a close. Yes, this girls’ trip has technically only lasted a few days, but this drama-filled, emotionally draining journey to hell has turned into several hours of television and likely many, many more hours of professional counseling. (I already know I will need to call my own therapist immediately after the season finale.) Somehow, Jen’s arrest is already starting to feel like a distant memory as the cast dances around the allegations against Mary’s Faith Temple Church all while picking old fights that were bound to boil over.

This episode, we finally get some substantive info about the skeletons in Mary’s closet. For several weeks, Lisa and Whitney have both hinted that they know negative information about her church—Lisa is close with Cameron, a disgruntled former member of the congregation, but she won’t get into specifics about his experience. After eating several pounds of melted cheese and watching everyone else drink from the shot-ski, Mary gets tired of tormenting Whitney and goes to bed. This gives everyone else—sleep-deprived, tipsy and still traumatized from federal agents swarming the Beauty Lab parking lot—the chance to ask what the hell is going on. Lisa waffles like a Utah legislator drawing Congressional boundaries until even her friends Jennie and Meredith feel frustrated. Under pressure, she blurts out that Cameron mortgaged his house to give her $300,000. Cameron claims that Mary and Robert Sr. would regularly convince the congregation to give them large amounts of money, and in this particular case, Mary used it to get surgery removing her odor glands. 

This explosive information, coming so soon after Jen’s arrest, turns up the pressure cooker even more, unleashing big emotions that will likely reverberate for seasons to come. There’s so much to keep track of that it seems easier to go housewife by housewife:

Whitney

Plenty will change as the season continues, but I’m already prepared to declare Whitney as the MVP of Season 2. Throughout all the chaos, she has been funnier than ever, probably the smartest person in the room and, crucially, the only cast member whose motivations are both logical and sympathetic. Unlike Heather, she is clearheaded about the implications of Jen’s arrest. Unlike everyone but Heather, she seems to be done with Mary’s bullshit. And she defends her cousin when everything goes haywire at the end of the episode, even when that means choosing Delta over a private jet. Team Whitney!

Lisa

Every episode, I get more and more confused by Lisa. She (at least sometimes) tries to be friends with everyone, but the only thing she’s succeeded at so far is pissing everybody off. Is she really playing four-dimensional chess, as Heather and Whitney so fervently believe? I have no idea, but if she is, I have zero guesses on what her end game will be. Why does she insist on protecting Cameron’s privacy (even though cameras filmed their conversation,) tell the group what he said on a whim and then make up with Mary in the middle of the night? Beats me! Her insistence on playing both sides—first with Meredith and Lisa, and now with Cameron and Mary has gone from confusing to disturbing. If she truly believes Cameron, she should want to stay as far away from Mary as possible. And yet, for no clear reason, she doubles down on their friendship even harder.

Heather

Look, Heather is very charming. She makes me laugh (on purpose!) at least once every episode, and her reunion with her estranged sister this week was truly sweet. So it’s sad to see her break down at the end of the episode—she seems genuinely hurt in a way we haven’t seen until, well, one of her besties got arrested a couple of days ago. It helps that she is right about pretty much everything. Yes, it is weird that Lisa and Mary are all of a sudden closer than ever! Yes, Mary is rude to Whitney for pretty much no reason! Yes, everyone should have learned their lesson from Jen and ask Mary some hard questions! The big question mark at the center, though, is Heather’s maddening loyalty to Jen. Heather is right to treat Mary with skepticism, but she won’t bring that same energy with Jen who, you know, might actually go to jail. 

Jennie

Jennie is a year behind on all of the drama, which honestly works in her favor. (Sure, she gets less screen time, but she is also the only one who seems to be going home without lasting emotional scars.) Jennie had a rivalry budding with Mary, but Mary decides to throw her some snakeskin Louboutins as a peace offering. (“This will lighten up my luggage,” Mary says in the confessional. Heartfelt!) With designer shoes to keep her quiet, Jennie minds her business and eats a croissant while everyone else melts down. Good for her!

Jen

Jen is not in this episode, which I’m sure is a relief to her legal team. Unfortunately for her, though, an ABC News special, The Housewife and the Shah Shocker, outlined her case in more detail. Pretty much every part of the documentary looked bad for Jen, especially heartbreaking interviews with victims who were defrauded by a shell company that allegedly worked with her. The documentary, streaming on Hulu, is worth watching if you want true-crime details the Real Housewives hasn’t dived into (yet).

Meredith

Meredith was clearly having the time of her life when Jen got arrested. She gets to experience two of the greatest pleasures in the human experience—being proven right and luxuriating in a stupidly fancy bath—at once. I can only dream! Sadly, now that the focus has shifted to Mary, Meredith’s moral righteousness about Jen feels much more suspect. When she learns about Cameron’s allegations her first response is to…feel guilty for gossiping? And not to worry aboutM Mary’s victims, which she scolded the group about in Jen’s case last week? It really doesn’t add up, especially when she was so suspicious of Jen that she hired a private investigator to track her. Even without firsthand evidence that Faith Temple is bad news, Meredith surely sees that Mary is frequently awful to others in the group for no good reason. I was rooting for you Meredith!

Mary

Yikes. YIKES. This episode is a new low for Mary. At times in Season 1, if you were feeling generous, you could call Mary an entertaining eccentric. Now, faced with real questions about her behavior, she completely melts down, fully unleashing a sinister side that makes for chilling television. She categorically denies all of the negative allegations about her church. (Since the season was filmed, The Daily Beast has published an investigation about abusive practices at Faith Temple.) She gives everyone besides Whitney expensive gifts just to be an ass. And when direct questions about her actions are raised, she gives an impromptu sermon in the living room, basically says that Heather is a fat alcoholic and calls Jen a “heartless thug, like Mexican people that make all those drugs.” Wow. At this point, it’s painful, and maybe even ethically questionable, to watch.

After a not-at-all-relaxing getaway, the Housewives finally travel back to SLC, though Heather and Whitney skip out on Meredith’s private jet and fly commercial as a protest. After an unbelievable string of episodes, it’s probably for the best that everyone is out of that cursed Vail mansion. As everyone returns home, they will surely have to keep grappling with the fact that a man may have MORTGAGED HIS HOUSE so that Mary could get her ODOR GLANDS REMOVED. I know I’m going to keep thinking about it.

Read all of our recaps of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.

Christmas media can be a love-it-or-hate-it proposition—either you’re blasting Mariah Carey before Halloween is over or you cringe at all of the earnest merriness. Like it or not, though, we’re well into the most wonderful time of year, and Pioneer Theatre Company has a fun-for-the-whole-family idea for those unwilling to brave the cold (and crowds) to see the Christmas light-donned construction zone at Temple Square. Even if you’re not one to devour every Netflix holiday rom-com, PTC’s Elf The Musical is charming enough to unite Santa-believers and their parents, nostalgic millennials and anyone looking for an enjoyable, family-friendly musical. (In Utah, that’s pretty much everyone.) 

The musical, narrated by Santa himself, begins at the North Pole with Buddy, (Max Chernin) an unnaturally tall elf who lacks his colleagues’ preternatural toy-making abilities. At age 30, Buddy overhears the real reason he doesn’t fit in at Santa’s Workshop—he is actually a human who accidentally crawled into Santa’s sack as an infant. Santa tells Buddy that his real dad Walter (Chirstopher Gurr), a children’s book publisher in New York City, does not know that he has a son, and, making matters worse, he’s on the naughty list. Adrift, Buddy heads south to meet his father, stepmother Emily (Mary Fanning Driggs) and 12-year-old stepbrother Michael (alternated between Austin Flamm and Grant Westcott). Unfortunately, Santa doesn’t tell Buddy to lose the yellow tights. 

The musical is based on, and in the shadow of, the 2003 movie starring Will Ferrell. The original film, now firmly in the Christmas movie canon, is a fish-out-of-water comedy that mines endless humor from the gulf between Buddy’s Christmas storybook upbringing and the normal adult world in New York City. Thanks to a clever concept, plenty of quotable lines and, especially, Ferrell’s performance, the original is a sentimental favorite, meaning the musical has big (pointy) shoes to fill.

PTC’s cheerful, eager-to-please production mostly succeeds. Sure, there are details for Scrooges (or maybe just tired parents) to nitpick. The score, with music by Matthew Sklar and lyrics by Chad Beguelin, is catchy, generally pleasant and totally forgettable—none of these songs are destined to become Christmas or musical theater classics. The source material has an irreverent streak, but at its core, it’s still a mushy-hearted holiday movie with a 100% earnest belief in the power of Christmas magic. (The plot, after all, is about an overworked man embracing the true meaning of Christmas, a tried-and-true staple from Dickens to Hallmark.) The updated-for-2021 book, by Thomas Meehan and Bob Martin, makes an effort to cut through the sweetness. A sassy Santa (Jason Simon) binge watches Squid Game and complains that PETA shut down his reindeer operation, and a few grownup-directed punchlines poke the boundaries of the PG rating. (It’s still fine for kids.) Still, the stage adaptation, which stretches to 2 ½ hours and adds an extra helping of musical theater cheese, only highlights the original movie’s cliches. 

But if you’re at all susceptible to the Christmas magic everyone on stage keeps singing about, none of this will really matter. The formula is a part of the point—you know that Santa’s sleigh will fly at the exact right moment, the tone will be as warm as a mug of hot cocoa and everyone will live happily ever after. It’s easy to be won over by the flexible ensemble, who play both permanently chipper elves and a wide variety of normal New Yorkers, from a robotically friendly Macy’s perfume seller to a chorus of beleaguered mall Santas. Antoinette Comer is winning as Jovie, an unlucky-in-love cynic who begins dating Buddy.  The snow-globe inspired set from scenic designer James Kronzer is a lot of fun, as is the peppy choreography by Rommy Snadhu. Director Alan Muraoka strikes the right balance between energetic and overbearing, and the musical’s brisk pace never wears out its welcome.

While all of the cast is strong, the musical really rests on Chernin’s too-tall shoulders. It’s no easy task to play a role so closely associated with one actor—Ferrell’s iconic performance is so central to the original that I don’t envy anyone who tries to make it their own. Luckily, Chernin understands the assignment—he is totally committed, 100% earnest and a great singer and dancer to boot. He leans in, without winking to the audience, to the ridiculousness of the plot, which makes the jokes land harder and the sentimental moments more effective than they have any right to be. You’d have to be a cotton-headed ninny muggins to resist his charm.  

Elf The Musical will be at Pioneer Theatre Company through Dec. 18. For tickets and more information, visit their website. Stay on the nice list and wear your mask during the performance. Read more about arts in Utah.

In the middle of this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, I texted another fan of the show and declared it was one of the best episodes of television I’d seen. That was maybe (definitely) a touch hyperbolic, but this really is a new peak for RHOSLC. Behind the ridiculous drama and ethical queasiness of watching most reality TV, this tense, surprising episode proves why this series can be so compelling. 

This episode begins right where we left off last week. Jen said that Sharrieff had internal bleeding (a lie), left in a hurry and then a swarm of federal agents showed up to arrest her. Lisa, Jennie, Heather and Whitney are parked at Beauty Lab, stunned. Unlike most installments, which follow a loose formula with several subplots, this episode is set entirely over the course of a single day. Transitions mark the exact time and location of the cast, and the whole thing is paced like a thriller. The tone is a hybrid between a mid-reputable true crime documentary and a normal episode of the show, which makes for an odd but compelling juxtaposition. One minute you have Meredith, in a hot pink blazer, no pants and with go-go boots, enjoying an infomercial about a luxury vacation rental in Vail, the next you have grainy footage, seemingly from a doorbell security camera, of Jen’s kids walking out of the house with their hands up.

Beyond the unusually high stakes of the ripped-from-the-headlines drama, this episode succeeds because each cast member shows a new side of themselves. Even though RHOSLC is only in its second season, (the OG series, The Real Housewives of Orange County, has a staggering 268 episodes) the cast has already started to calcify into types. Even with an ever-evolving web of alliances and rivalries, you can generally predict how most of the women will behave—Mary will throw the most unhinged party on God’s green earth, Jen will have an outburst of rage and Meredith will disengage. The cast, always aware that cameras are rolling, perform the parts. But the events of this episode are shocking and destabilizing enough to inspire some raw, surprising reactions.

Whitney, for example, is savvier than we might expect. She seems to be the first to connect that the NYPD was involved because Jen’s business was based in New York, and she somehow knows quite a lot about (legal) digital marketing. She is much more clearheaded than her cousin. Heather, who is surprisingly naive. She suggests to the group that the police were “trying to protect” Jen, because surely a full SWAT team got their handcuffs out for just a casual check-in. She keeps asking if Jen will text her back. (I don’t think so, babe!) Before learning exactly what Jen is charged with, she hopes the whole thing is a misunderstanding about “paperwork.” True, watching a police department’s worth of federal agents come looking for your friend would be disorienting, but Heather certainly is lacking in the street smarts department.

Lisa is in a tough situation because, unwisely, she decided to be Jen’s #1 defender and friend ever since the end of last season. In one of the most unbelievable moments in an episode full of them, Whitney finds out the specific allegations against Jen from reality TV blogs and gossip sites as the group drives through the middle of nowhere. (I *hope* Reality Blurb wins a Pultizer for Breaking News Reporting TBH.) In real time, they learn that Jen is charged with fraud, Stuart is implicated too and that she could face up to 30 years in prison. Lisa and Heather burst into tears and join Whitney for a group hug, while Jennie calmly sips her drink. Jennie is too new to have deep connections with anyone besides Lisa, and she is hilariously not going to pretend otherwise. Before the bus even leaves the parking lot, Jennie raids Jen’s snacks, correctly guessing that Jen won’t be coming back for her Mint Milanos and Life Savers. Mostly, she seems mildly irked that her new friend’s massive fraud scheme has spoiled a perfectly good girls’ trip.

The two other Housewives going to Vail, Mary and Meredith, wisely skipped out on the party bus and get to travel in relative peace. Meredith, in particular, is having a great time drinking champagne alone in the stupidly big ski mansion. She’s having so much fun, in fact, that she hasn’t been reading any headlines or texts about Jen. Lisa FaceTimes her, and when she learns the news, she says, stone-faced, “Honestly, I’m not surprised by this.” She feels validated that her longtime suspicions about Jen were correct, and openly gloats before basically saying “I told you so.” “The good news is, while everything else is falling apart around us we do have a beautiful house here,” Meredith says before blowing a kiss. How’s that for the magic of positive thinking?

The demise of her longtime enemy gives Meredith a real chance to shine, and she milks the opportunity. Sometimes in Season 1, Meredith was too reserved (and emotionally mature) to stand out, but this episode, she decides to put on a show. When Mary arrives, Meredith greets her while luxuriating in a bubble bath. She and Mary gossip in the bathroom, and Meredith continues to emphasize that she is not surprised by the arrest. (Mary, for her part, mostly says she’s sad for Jen, except for the times when she says that Jen had it coming.) “The FBI doesn’t get involved unless there’s facts,” observes Mary Cosby, Esq. “Unless there was, like, an insider who gave them the information,” says Meredith, before quietly looking away.

I won’t speculate if Meredith did, in fact, tip off the federal agents. The show, and maybe even Meredith herself, is certainly leaving plenty of breadcrumbs to suggest this possibility. What I do know is that Meredith is really leaning into her performance. She clearly chose to film the conversation with Mary in the bubble bath (I am hoping…PRAYING…that the camera crew doesn’t have bathroom privileges without permission,) because she wants to prove just how relaxed and unbothered she is by Jen’s downfall. She stays in the tub until the rest of the cast arrives, her hands getting pruney for the sake of the bit. This woman is looking camp right in the eye!

The gravity of Jen’s arrest (almost) unites everyone, mostly because they are distracted from the petty bullshit that would have animated a more normal trip. Still, the Housewives find time to eye each other suspiciously and wonder aloud if anyone knows more than they’re letting on. Jennie finds it strange that Whitney is a sudden expert on the legality of direct marketing. Whitney questions why Lisa calls literally all six of the attorneys on her payroll. And, most suspiciously, Lisa stage whispers, “I think Meredith might know something” in a phone call to John. In the last two episodes, several Housewives revealed that they quietly knew rumors about Mary’s church, and once again, it’s clear that anyone paying attention to Jen’s lifestyle knew there was something fishy going on. Heather says that even after an hour of conversation, she didn’t understand Jen’s job and concluded that her business was at least “unsavory.” Whitney questioned how Jen made so much money, and a damning montage shows Jen’s lavish spending. Mary claims she “never saw nothing good” in Jen. (K.) 

In the episode’s final scene, the women gather over a fancy dinner made by a private chef—Heather says “Today has been insane. So stressful. But it surprisingly hasn’t cut my appetite at all.” When everyone debriefs together, the allegations start to fly. Meredith says she has security footage of Jen’s employee stealing something from her jewelry store. She also brings up a rumor that Jen is “red-flagged” at Louis Vuitton for always paying in cash. (“Being red-flagged at Louis Vuitton would be far worse than the feds knocking at my door,” Lisa says.) Then, Heather remembers that Jen took an Uber from her house late at night, but mysteriously exited the car at an intersection half a mile away. This leads Lisa to suggest that Jen is meeting up with another guy. (How does Lisa know this?) Soon, every detail of Jen’s life starts to feel suspicious. Whatever is going on, Whitney observes, “If we do not share what we know, we are in danger.”

If you haven’t noticed, the missing piece from this episode is Jen herself. Besides brief footage of her leaving the U.S. District Court, she is entirely absent, but for the rest of the season, she is still contractually obligated to have cameras follow her most personal moments as she tries to defend herself against very serious allegations of fraud. It’s her lawyers’ worst nightmare, and voyueristic fans’ dream come true.

Random observations:

• Every episode, Heather cements her status as the most funny-on-purpose cast member
• There is a medically alarming amount of candy and Cheetos on the party bus, which I both fear and respect.
• Mary is awfully sanctimonious about Jen’s morality considering the allegations against her church. There is a 100% chance her incoherent monologue about reaping and sowing will be used against her before the season is over.

Read more about The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.

It’s finally happened. After being teased endlessly in the trailer and the pilot episode, we have arrived (chronologically) to Jen fleeing from the cops as everyone prepares for a girls’ trip to Vail. I knew this would be compulsively watchable, car-wreck-you-can’t-look-away-from, horrifyingly compelling television, and yet this scene still exceeded my expectations. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City is now officially the greatest true-crime show, soap opera and Shakespearean drama on television. 

Unsurprisingly, a raid featuring multiple federal agencies is the climax of this extra long episode, and I have to jump right into it. We already got a taste of this scene in a flash-forward that opened the Season 2 premiere, so some of the unbelievable details aren’t new—most importantly, that a large group of federal agents came looking for Jen IN THE BEAUTY LAB PARKING LOT, as Heather, Whitney, Lisa and Jennie, all genuinely shocked, watch from a parked limo. The full scene, though, presented in context, is even more incredible. One detail that we didn’t know is that when Jen got the call (from who? FROM WHO?) warning her that the cops were on their way, she told everyone that Sharrieff was in the hospital. With both disturbing and impressive ease, she finds a just convincing enough lie before calmly getting the hell away from Beauty Lab. While her friends debate the ethics of going to Vail while their friend’s husband is bleeding internally, girlie is on the run!

In all of the chaos, the editors leave plenty of reminders that we are watching a reality show. Jen asks Whitney to turn her microphone off, which is never supposed to happen when the cameras are rolling. Members of the camera crew are included in several shots (a reminder of how strange it must be to film scenes in a cramped limo.) Producers are seen talking to both the cast members and the police as the details of Jen’s arrest unfold in real time. Ironically, these rare peeks behind the curtain make this episode of reality TV feel more real than any event that’s happened in one and a half seasons. (cinema verite) 

I could spend this entire recap picking apart the tiniest of details of this scene, which absolutely should win an Emmy, Oscar and maybe a Pulitzer Prize while we’re at it. What about the chilling little nod Whitney gives Lisa when they both realize, simultaneously, that Jen lied about Sharrieff? Or Heather, who is scared of the federal agents (who she won’t stop calling “the popo”) and inexplicably compelled to chat with them? I keep thinking about Heather asking if she should call Jen and Lisa, recognizing that this shit is serious, saying “I don’t think you should,” emphasizing every syllable.  

Even before this explosive climax, there is plenty of strange, stupidly entertaining drama to enjoy as this season fully hits its stride. In a normal, non-supersized episode of The Real Housewives, a Mary Cosby party would provide plenty of material for the final act. She FaceTimes every other Housewife (besides Jennie, who she already hates,) and invites them to an Italian cooking class, complete with a dress code. There is so much to unpack every time Mary is in charge of an event that I’ll just list some of the wildest details, ranked roughly in order of craziness:

1. Mary uses this class as an opportunity to practice her “Italian” “accent,” which makes Jared Leto in the House of Gucci trailer sound like the height of subtlety.  
2. As a gift, Mary gives every woman a personalized apron with their Italian name. (Whitney’s is Whitney. Perfect.) Each apron was packed in a Louis Vuitton gift bag, and the Housewives, understandably, assumed this meant the aprons were from the designer. Nope! “I’m not buying them a Louis Vuitton apron,” Mary says. “Like why would I do that when they don’t even know how to cook?” Fair enough!
3. Mary unilaterally decided to make the theme “Italian street fashion,” and everyone had their own equally strange interpretation. However, as revenge for not answering her phone calls, Mary told Whitney to wear “mafia girls fashion,” with inspiration pics of sexy store-bought Halloween costumes. Whitney wisely does not take the bait. 
4. While making the pasta, Mary asks the (remarkably patient) instructor, “If you beat it fast does it make it tough?” Heather can’t resist replying with, “That’s a good question, Mary.”

As this season is beginning to reveal, Mary has in all likelihood done some truly heinous things to members of her congregation. However, she is so authentically strange, so untethered from any sort of reality, that it’s always fun to watch. What’s scary (and funny and sometimes almost poignant) about Mary is that she is truly unpredictable. For the other cast members, we have a general sense of who they are and why they do what they do. (Well, Lisa’s been all over the place this season, but she still has somewhat coherent motivations.) Even Jen is consistent—consistently volatile, sure, but still something you can generally depend on. 

This week, with the flimsiest justification imaginable, Mary decides to fight Whitney. Everyone seems to agree this makes no sense. Besides the costume prank, Mary spends the entire party digging at Whitney until finally telling her, “You can go, little girl,” Whitney, in tears, obliges, and as Meredith comforts her, Meredith brings up her mysterious conversation with Cameron, a former member of Mary’s congregation. Whitney reveals that she also knows about the criticism of Mary’s church—she is friends with Mary’s cousin, who warned her to be careful and believe her to have the power of God. (Remember that unsettling painting of her grandma hanging out with white Mormon Jesus? Because I wish I could forget it.) It all makes Heather’s unflattering explanations of Mormon doctrine this episode look like child’s play. 

The allegations against Mary are, over time, getting more specific. My question is: why does Whitney try to be Mary’s friend at all? She clearly knows something strange is happening at Faith Temple, and she even alludes to online rumors about the church that have swirled since the cast was announced. With all of this information Whitney decides to…publicly defend Mary, donate to Faith Temple and maintain their friendship even as Mary basically calls her ugly over text. Why? Yes, these women are contractually obligated to have some sort of relationship with each other, but Whitney decides to go above-and-beyond for Mary for no discernable reason. While I don’t understand their history, it’s more clear what the future will look like. Mary straight up says she doesn’t consider Whitney a friend, and Whitney tells her “the gloves are off.” This is a deeply stupid move on Mary’s part. Even Lisa can’t deny that Whitney has been a good friend to Mary, and the last thing that Mary needs is an enemy searching for skeletons in her closet. Homeland Security isn’t involved (yet,) but this subplot may be just as dramatic and divisive. 

So where are we now? Jen is literally on the run. Mary seems to have no idea that the other Housewives are questioning her church. And whether they want to be or not, the other Housewives are already wrapped up in a much bigger scandal than who didn’t answer whose FaceTime.

Random observations:

• This week in RHOSLC Sunday School: Heather explains that according to Mormon doctrine, she will go to Outer Darkness, the lowest form of Hell, for leaving the Church, while people like Jeffrey Dahmer could go to a different version of Heaven. This is oversimplified, but basically accurate—Outer Darkness is reserved for people who “denied the truth.” 
• Jennie visits Meredith’s house while Meredith is in the middle of a private mani-pedi. Later, she FaceTimes Mary from bed even though it appears to be near dinner time. This woman really knows how to live.
• For our weekly dose of tragic foreshadowing, Stuart and Jen go snowshoeing together, and Jen says, “I appreciate you sticking with me through the bad times, the good times.” Are you sure you want to stick with her through these bad times Stu?