The Sundance Institute, which has been “kind of, sorta seeing other people,” announced today that it will be moving in with Boulder, Colo. Yeah. What? What the actual F-word? I mean what happened to “I just need some space” Sundance? How long has this been going on? You just said you were just “going to coffee” and it was “just one meeting” and now you’re moving in?
Wow.
Great! I, mean, good for you! It’s so great to see you grow into yourself after the years we spent giving you tax breaks and paying the bills for transportation and venue infrastructure. Oh, and cleaning up the mess you and your friends made after you left town. Jeez Louise! So many branded water bottles.
Sorry. Sorry! I don’t mean to be negative. I mean we did have some fun. Remember that time when our friend got on a bus and the bus didn’t stop and kept going out to Heber? And he was like, “hey where’s this bus going? And the dudes on the bus said, “Wait who are you? I thought “you were with us.” And it turns out the bus was chartered by the Slamdance people who were throwing their anniversary bash at the Heber bowling alley. Wow. Good times. Nice people BTW, so glad you introduced us. Doubt they’re into Boulder though. Just sayin’.
I mean. OK. We DID say some stupid things. Like the thing about your movies promoting the gay lifestyle. We know some of your best friends are gay (well, all of them, let’s be real). And the flag thing. Yeah. That was a cheap shot. SOO DUMB. Gah! We were in a FIGHT. People say things. I mean, WTF Cincinnati? Cincinnati?! What was that even about?
Fine! Well. I’m not getting anywhere with you (as usual). So… I don’t suppose you want to have one more crazy time with us? I mean we do have all these traffic cones and buses and seated venues and the signs and the GD water bottles so I mean…I don’t want to sound desperate but you and me? One more harrah? 2026?
I mean if Boulder is cool with that? We want to respect your boundaries.
We’ll clean up after. Don’t worry. Hugs and kisses to Boulder.
Muah!
Utah
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