Photo by Adam Finkle

After reading dozens of “top news stories of 2013” lists and other looks backward, we thought you’d be ready for a look ahead to 2014 news you can use. We called on astrologer Christopher Renstrom to map Utah’s future, using a discipline he calls “the algebra of the planets.” 

Renstrom studied acting in New York, but found his groove as an astrologer—building a clientele in the artsy East Village in the ‘80s. Now, he lives in SLC’s east village, the Avenues, with his husband Adam Sklute, Ballet West's artistic director. Renstrom writes on astrology for several publications, runs a private divination practice and is Millionaire Matchmaker star Patti Stanger’s personal astrologer.

Because SLC and the state of Utah were both officially recognized (i.e. born) in the month of January, Renstrom treated them as Capricorns in drawing their charts for the coming year. Pop astrology would agree: Capricorns are hardworking (duh, the Beehive State) and good followers (ring a bell?), but bossy and materialistic (explains those multi-level marketing schemes).

Disclaimer: Renstrom’s prophecies tend to follow the Oracle of Delphi pattern—they can be read a number of ways and possibly lead to tragic results. We wouldn’t bet the farm on any of this.

Weird Science

Utah researchers will likely make medical breakthroughs dealing with the brain and the origins of life. Alzheimer’s? Stem cells? Orrin Hatch cloning? Probably one of the first two, Renstrom says.

Sexuality

Controversy over sexual civil rights will emerge sharply this year—Renstrom says you can mark it down on your calendar for April, May, September and October. Gay rights? Could be, unless Renstrom’s readings are being clouded by the sexual vapors of polygamy—always a problem in Utah. 

Smart Girl

Kidnap victim Elizabeth Smart-Gilmour will grow in stature as a media figure this year. “The way her horoscope connects to the state and the city is very powerful,” Renstrom says. “It shows her coming to fruition as a voice and personality.” Unfortunately, she won’t be eligible to run for governor until 2024.

Political Scandal ...

The GOP will continue to fragment over the next four years and that impact will trickle down to Utah’s mostly Republican Legislature. A guess: Liquor laws will either become even more draconian (Utah County bloc) or sales will be privatized (Tea Party).

... With a Twist

Renstrom sees political controversy ahead. But usual suspects former Attorneys General John Swallow and Mark Shurtleff can relax. This controversy will affect SLC’s leadership. Unfortunately for scandal mongers, it will involve property or zoning issues, totally in keeping with Mayor Ralph Becker’s drab administration.

Federal Tithing?

Movements of Pluto and Uranus indicate upcoming changes in the U.S. tax system following a Utah model. Perhaps a 10 percent flat tax?

Just Say No

Renstrom sees illegal drugs in the city’s future—a decade-long upswing in the underground drug industry. Apparently, Pioneer Park’s crime problem won’t end anytime soon.

Beware Water

SLC experienced its 1983 flood the last time the chart looked this way! Probably not another round of floods—but pay close attention to water and mining operations. The stars, unfortunately, are mum on when the inversion will end.

Utah Busts a Cultural Move

Renstrom sees Utah as a “reluctant avant-garde artist” trapped inside a Tea Partying rube’s body. And he sees Utah’s arts scene advancing in 2014. “I see Salt Lake City actually setting an example, being emulated,” he says.

WEB EXTRA: A few predictions we couldn't fit in the magazine

The Big None

No astrological signs point to Utah's long-overdue major earthquake. Only building suspense to the Big Shake.

Filmed in Utah

Utah's film industry will be on the rise in 2014.

Lookin' Good 

Renstrom expects a renewed focus on Salt Lake City's aesthetic, meaning more raised buildings and better architecture.

Popularity and Population

Charts show SLC and Utah will attract more money, tourists and business, but Renstrom's worried Utahns may not be ready for the changes they're going to see, since historically, the horoscope shows a lot going out and not much coming in.

Big Surprises

Mark down Feb. 12–March 22, July 19, Oct. 25, and Nov. 2 and circle March 2. Renstrom's not sure what it is, but he sees major events for Utah on those dates.

Renstrom is the author of the book Ruling Planets. Find more info on the book and his astrology at rulingplanets.com.

Back>>>Read other stories in our Jan/Feb 2014 issue.