Wow. When Mitt decides go all in on a gaffe, it’s an Olympic performance.

As even the blind sea lion at the Hogle Zoo can tell you, Mitt really f’d up in London Town, making a major “wazzock” of himself in the eyes of the world. (More on what the hell a wazzock is later.)

Mitt Romney traveled to England on a grip-and-grin trip to show his diplomatic mettle and get some photos for future foreign-policy campaign ads.

I know. What was his campaign thinking? It’s always a risk to allow Mitt to interact with humans.

They must have figured that because saving the Salt Lake Olympics (it used to be setting up healthcare in Massachussetts) is Mitt’s only claim to fame, London was an opportunity to shine.

Instead it turned into a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week for Mittens.

  • Mitt foreign-policy aide tries to suck up to the British by saying Mitt is more sensitive to their shared “Anglo-Saxon heritage” than Barack Obama. As that is a euphemism for “former Klan member” in some parts of the U.S., the comment was not well received.
  • Mitt refers to Labor Party leader David Miliband as “Mr. Leader,” at a press conference because he either forgot the minister of Parliament’s name or never knew it.
  • But of course, the topper was when Mitt wanted to sound like the inter-galactic Olympic expert and proclaimed he was “disconcerted” by London’s security preparations shortly before meeting England’s top Anglo-Saxon chieftains.
  • Prime Minister James Cameron points out that its easy to hold an Olympics “in the middle of nowhere,” i.e. Utah.


Before you could say wanker, the British press had annointed Mitt a “wannabe President”, “twit,” and—the best— “wazzock.” Running out of insults, the tabloids resorted to an Americanism, calling Mitt a “flip-flopper” after he tried to weasel out of his Olympic gaffe.

As for wazzock, not even the British are sure of its etymology, but it roughly translates into American slang as “douche.”

The best label for Romney that “Saturday’s Voyeur” could come up with is “Mittbot.”

Glen Warchol is a culture and politics contributor to Salt Lake magazine. He also writes Crawler at SLCene.com.