It's fall, but color me underwhelmed.

This week, I’ve received three different emails trumpeting that Wendy’s has spent TWO YEARS reinventing their hamburger. Now, it’s fresh and juicy, pretty much the basic criteria for any hamburger since the first ground beef was patted out. I’m not sure why “hand leafed” lettuce and “hand-cut” tomatoes would be an improvement and I’m totally dubious about a “pickle chemist” being called in.

Meanwhile, Wall Street Journal tells me that Heinz has spent THREE YEARS developing a better ketchup packet for people who eat their fries in the car and don’t want to make a mess.

I can’t help but wonder how much these “innovations” cost to develop. Here’s a hint:

“To develop the new packet, Heinz staffers sat behind one-way, mirrored glass, watching consumers in 20 fake minivan interiors putting ketchup on fries, burgers, and chicken nuggets.

And, “To try new prototypes himself, Mike Okoroafor, Heinz vice president of global packaging innovation and execution, bought a used minivan, taking it to local McDonald's and Wendy's drive-throughs to order fries and apply ketchup in the confined space.

I wasn't going to use my car—too messy," he says.”

This starts to sound like news from The Onion, doesn't it??

Anyway, here’s some news you can use from local and authentic food producers:

Tomorrow night at 7 p.m., Silver Fork Lodge joins forces with Epic Brewing and High West Distillery to present a five course pairing dinner.  It will be held on the rustic terrace, overlooking some of Utah’s finest mountain forests. $50 per person and I guarantee it will beat Wendy’s new Hot n Juicy burger—even if topped with ketchup from Heinz’ new Squeeze n Dip package.

Sheesh.