What's the proper attire for playing miniature golf?

That's the question.

Salt Lake mag has a quartet competing at Salt Lake Art Center's Miniature Golf exhibit Wednesday.  Some people are flexing their wrists and throwing darts to improve their swing and aim.

Me, I'm worrying about what to wear.

It's too late to get team T-shirts, even though Jeremy thought of a catchy slogan: they would all say, "Didn't you read my blog?" over a magazine logo. And times being what they are in the publishing biz, our comptroller in Florida nixed the expense, anyway.

So we're on our own.

I have some examples. Remember Katharine Hepburn in Pat & Mike? I just don't think I have the cheekbones to pull it off...

I Googled for ideas:

But. Not blonde enough. Not tan enough. Not ethnic enough. Face it: not young enough.

I've spent a lifetime watching golf on television over the shoulder of my beloved father, a great armchair golfer, Bobby Jones fan and author of the definitive review of a golf game,"Golf isn't FUN, Mary."

No. But it is fun-ny when it comes to clothes. I mean:

So I can't help but wonder why, when a game of golf seems to inspire men to unprecedented heights (or depths, depending on how you look at it) of unfettered flights of fashion-plaid pants, pink shirts, green jackets-women golfers are stuck in khaki skorts and gender-free polo shirts.

It makes me wish Madonna or Lady Gaga had taken up the sport. But they're probably intimidated by John Daly: When Payne Stewart can look like this:

and Amy Alcott looks like this:

something is very, very wrong.

At least, I can find no sartorial inspiration...